Last night, three scientists made a horrific discovery. When working in the lab, Bob the Scientist Guy accidentally tipped some chill pills into his goldfish named Larry’s bowl.
Expecting Larry to do a backflip and make the peace sign with his fins due to the overwhelming power of chill pills, he was instead greeted with an unlikely result: nothing. Larry continued to do his morning laps around the pool and ate another granola bar, as running laps around anywhere is difficult without any limbs. Bob was so surprised he toppled over and spilled Garry´s coffee.
Garry, enraged, tried to arrest Bob but stopped when he saw the results of Bob´s experiment. He phoned the president immediately, and the president, eating a jelly donut in his PJs and reading the paper at the time, dropped his donut mid-bite and rushed to tell the military.
The general, who at the time was practicing his ballroom dancing, received the president’s call and threw his chandelier into his roommate Shmary´s room to make it look like he was the one ballroom dancing.
Shmary, however, hated antiques, and threw the chandelier into the street, where some guy named Billy the Willy crashed into it and started yelling about how his brand new Lexus was broken or something. The general was then informing the Air Force about the goldfish predicament, and the Air Force proceeded to drop bombs for no reason.
The general, satisfied with the Air Force´s choice of action, proceeded to inform the press about Bob´s discovery. The press gratefully accepted the call and threw away this random dude´s story about how sidewalks are trying to kill you. Soon, everybody found out about the goldfish discovery I and caused a worldwide panic.
Larry, annoyed by everyone´s overreaction, ate everyone. Satisfied by his meal, he went to bed. And caused World War III.